5 Qualities of An Authentic Person

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What makes an authentic person truly authentic?

How can you know if a person is truly being authentic, or just hiding behind a mask of authenticity?

I remember sitting on the couch and watching the movie Mean Girls. I wondered if things could get that bad in the girlie-hood.

How wrong I was, things can get that bad, and even worse, these days.

Recently, I watched my friend’s daughter become a hermit and totally withdrawn because her shy sweet best friend had turned on her.

The need to belong to an in-group, the need to desperately fit in drew friends apart.

It is conformation that hurts our authenticity.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.  Romans 12:2

Are you a genuine Christian?

Are you genuine as a mom?

Are you genuine in your relationships?

Every successful relationship is knitted in authenticity.

Come to think of it, we are more likely to share our hearts with friends who are truly real and authentic.

Unfortunately, people who are close to us know when we radiate lies about ourselves.


It is a lie to put up an appearance.

It is pride to put up an appearance.

Not being authentic is denying who you really are.

Depression and loneliness are closely tied with the impossible desire of being perfect or to fit in to the ‘right crowd’. We should not turn on each other just because we are trying to fit in the “popular group”.

What is the real issue here?

The need to fit-in.

We lose ourselves when we desperately want to belong.

We stop being real when we put up a facade.

When our lives start revolving around appearances we drift away from reality.

It is this self serving desire that allow us crush people in our lives who love us.

This senseless craving makes us lose real connections and break hearts along our paths.

5 Qualities of An Authentic Person

1. Understand your purpose

The woman who understands God’s place in her life doesn’t bother which group of women let her in. A woman who understands her purpose pursues fulfillment of her calling.

God has not called us

  • To be like everyone else; the world needs your light, it doesn’t need more darkness.
  • To fit in: We should give up trying to fit in because God has called you to be different.
  • To be unreal: We make our lives a lie when we abandon who God has made us to be.

God has called us for His unique purpose in our lives

Our uniqueness is buried in our authenticity.

You echo your purpose when you remain true to your calling. To be true is to be authentic, sincere and transparent.

2. Show Compassion

An authentic person is compassionate and empathetic. She listens with genuine intent and seeks ways to relieve your burden.

Jesus showed compassion. He was genuine. He didn’t need to wear a long robe and sit in the courts.

An authentic person will draw more genuine people

3. Relate and do not be distant

An authentic person can relate with your experiences. While she does not shield her own short comings she places herself in your shoes in order to understand what you are going through.

An authentic person is not distant in her conversations

4. Avoid lies 

Many times you try to fit in you spun lies. Regrettably you will need more lies to keep you on the shore line. You will become more sucked in.

Get away from the lies and everything to do with it because it will cost you more than you expect.   

5. Be honest about your feelings

Truthfully, I am learning to be more open about my feelings especially when my opinion really matters.

People in our lives deserve more than our “plastic answers”. They deserve our best authentic selves.

Let’s be more true and less plastic

Let’s be more authentic and shine in truth.


Ifeoma Samuel is happily married to her sweet heart Obiora Samuel. She is an author, a blogger and an occasional Speaker at various women conferences in South Africa.  She uses her writings to share everyday life stories about God’s immense love. She is the author of  “My 30 Days Journey To a Fulfilled Life”. Visit her blog Purposeful And Meaningful and you can follow her on  Instagram and Facebook

More great content for women:

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10 Ways to Lead an Online Bible Study

How to Find God’s Will For Your Life

5 Things You Need To Know To Find Your Calling

4 Thing You Need to Know About Dreams

Encouragement for Wives in the Ministry

Supporting Your Husband in the Ministry

The Top 3 Things Single Women Need to Know

5 Character Traits of Healthy Friendships

5 Biblical Ways to Resolve Conflict

How to Surround Yourself With Safe People

5 Qualities of An Authentic Person

9 Ways to Spot a Toxic Friendship

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  1. What a thought provoking post Ifeoma! Number 1 is where it all starts! Know your purpose. God created each one of us for a specific purpose and He has us right where He wants us to accomplish His will. Thank you for sharing my friend and may God bless you and yours as you seek to live for Him each day!. Have a wonderful week!

  2. Beautiful words today, Ifeoma! I didn’t realize you were in a season of traveling and now are settling back in. Authenticity is very important to me. Being real in my relationships is what allows me to grow and it also fosters a deeper relationship with God.

    I pray we all reach for who we are and then feel good about sharing this with others. Blessings and welcome home!

  3. So true that God did not call us to conform to this world, Ifeoma. I agree with every tip, but living out no. 5 is a challenge. Being honest with my feelings can be a struggle when I know the other person won’t like what they hear. But I am practicing sandwiching my words with kindness and praying before I speak to help me share my heart. Thank you, Ifeoma, for calling us to live honest before God first and foremost. Sweet blessings to you, friend. : )

  4. I’m sorry to hear about how rough things became for your daughter. Thanks for sharing this. As a daddy to four girls, this is a good reminder to me of how challenging things can get in the teen and pre-teen years. I like your suggestions on living an authentic life. This is exactly how I want to raise my girls–Authentic, caring, and confidant enough to neither bully others, nor be a victim of bullying. I’m sure this is easier said than done. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers this morning as you moved though these new challenges. And thank you for the parenting and authenticity wisdom too.

  5. A wonderful post, Ifeoma! Such truth! Authenticity would save so many hurts – so many broken hearts! Being a woman in this world is difficult. It’s loud and clangy and tells us we are not enough. But if we are grounded in Christ, if He is our anchor – we can rise above the noise and live authentically!
    Blessings, my friend!

  6. Wonderful post reminding us that God made us exactly the way He wants us. Our purpose isn’t for anyone else, and we must be following Him in the way He has called us in order to fulfill His will. Thanks so much for sharing this at Together on Tuesdays 🙂

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