There Is Healing After an Abortion
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Update 6/25/2022: Yesterday the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, declaring that abortion is not a right granted by the Constitution of the United States of America, and sending the decision to legalize or ban abortion to the individual States. Our fight for life continues.
Just recently, New York passed legislation allowing a mother to choose to abort her child up to birth. Following this legislation, other states have begun to follow suit.
While this legislation limits this decision to health risks deeming abortion necessary, statistically speaking a very small percentage of women abort for health reasons. However, “health risk” is a very broad statement, including the mental health of the mother. Sadly, this means that if while in labor the mother begins to panic, already has a history of mental illness, or feels that having a baby would somehow prove a risk to her mental health, abortion could be deemed a necessary option.
Sadly, the choice to abort in order to spare the mental health of a patient could only prove to exacerbate the situation, as so many post-abortive women face extreme mental anguish. Some have found counseling that has led them to healing and closure, but many have not and now carry the painful burden of that decision with them for the rest of their lives.
Below is one such story, told by a dear, personal friend of mine.
Her name is Jennifer.
I was eighteen years old and a senior in high school.
At this time in my life, I was facing some very difficult circumstances that involved loneliness, sexual abuse and the long term effects of my parents divorce.
More than anything, I wanted somebody to love me.
I met a guy through a friend of mine. He was a few years older than me and on occasion I would skip school to go and spend time with him.
There would be times that he wanted me to have sex with him and I always told him no.
One day he said three words that were important to a vulnerable 18 year old girl and those words were “I love you”. Hearing those words meant something to me and I thought that he really did love me.
Keep in mind that I thought sex was love because of the abuse, and so I had a very distorted picture of sex.
On New Years Eve of 1992 I went to his apartment before we went to a party.
We were talking; however I knew that that he wanted to do more than talk. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him as I wanted to wait until I got married.
But he told me that he loved me, and hearing those words meant something to me.
I was a vulnerable eighteen year old girl, and I gave into him. I knew right away that I was pregnant; I can’t explain how I knew. I just did.
I called a local Pregnancy Resource Center (PRC) office and made an appointment to get a free pregnancy test.
But when that day came, I didn’t have a ride and I was too scared, so I didn’t go to the appointment. I never went to PRC and later regretted that decision.
Instead, a friend took me to a local Planned Parenthood office so that I could take a pregnancy test there.
I remember feeling very alone and frightened. I did not feel that I had anyone to turn to for help.
I took the test and it came back positive. The counselor didn’t tell me how far along I was. She did not sit down and talk with me about all of my options.
The only thing I remember is her handing me a sheet of paper with the names of a few adoption agencies and approximately four abortion clinics.
I could not believe how I had arrived here.
My first thoughts were to have an abortion, even though I was a Christian and against abortion. I really did feel that I had no other choice.
I made an appointment for the abortion at a local clinic in downtown Portland.
I remember waking up the morning that I was aborting my baby.
I was numb to everything.
My mother and grandmother took me. They did not want me to have the abortion; however they wanted to be there for me.
When I arrived to the clinic and checked in, I was taken to a room where a nurse performed an ultrasound on me to determine how far along I was.
At first I could see the ultrasound screen (monitor), but then the nurse turned it away so I couldn’t see my baby; so that I couldn’t see my baby’s heartbeat.
If I could have had a chance to see my baby, I believe I would have walked out of the clinic right then and chose to give life to my baby.
After the ultrasound I was given a pill and told come back in a few hours.
My grandmother, mother and I went to get something to eat. I was not really hungry given the circumstances. My mom and grandma told me that it was not too late if I didn’t want to go through with the abortion.
I told my mom and grandma that if I had decided to keep my baby, I would have given the baby to my cousin and her husband.
They did not know what to say after that.
A few hours had passed and we went back to the clinic and waited some more.
They finally called my name and right before the procedure I heard the doctors joking and laughing. This was very routine to them. Just another day in the office.
I could not believe it.
I was going through something so horrific and they had the nerve to laugh.
The day that I stepped into that abortion clinic, a part of me died. I was not the same after that. I became very depressed and no longer enjoyed life; I didn’t want to be alive.
In February of 1996, just four years after my abortion experience, I heard about a program offered through PRC called HEART.
HEART stands for Healing Encouragement for Abortion Related Trauma.
It is a Bible study support group for women who have experienced one or more abortions in their life. It is a small confidential group.
In this group I was able to forgive others and more importantly forgive myself.
It wasn’t easy; I had to do a lot of soul searching and learn about my feelings to deal with my abortion.
HEART has given me the tools to cope with anniversary dates, anger, sadness, sorrow, depression, guilt, shame and grief that can come after having an abortion.
This is the best thing I have done for myself.
I am so grateful and now I get to help lead these groups and see other woman’s lives change through the power of our loving Jesus Christ. I know that God has a purpose for my life.
What Satan means to harm, God uses for His Glory.
I would like to share a few scriptures with you.
The first is Isaiah 61:1-3:“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release form darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Psalms 32:5 says, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”
Ezekiel 36:26 says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
If you know of someone who is struggling with a past abortion, they can contact their local Pregnancy Resource Center and ask if they have a Post Abortion Bible study support group.
Thank you for allowing me to share my testimony with you. I hope that this has inspired you as well as informed you about the critical issue of abortion. We serve a mighty and very loving God. He has blessed me more than I can express. Thank you and God bless you.
In closing I wanted to mention that there are so many different local ministries where you may volunteer.
Not only at your local Pregnancy Resource Centers, but at rescue missions, your local churches and other local ministries in your area.
Pray about where the Lord wants you to serve.
I was so very blessed to be able to not only work at PRC, but to do peer -counseling for women who were facing unplanned pregnancies.
I wish I could tell you that all of my clients chose life, however not all of them did.
Yet, I was able to share with them how abortion has affected my life and that we are there for them no matter what. I did have some clients choose life after hearing about my testimony.
I was able to share with them my personal experience. However, even if you haven’t had an abortion, it doesn’t mean you can’t serve in a local PRC if that is where the Lord is leading you.
To contact HEART: Website, Confidential Voice Mail: 503-22-heart (224-3278)
To contact PRC: Website
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I love how God makes beauty from ashes. Your story is a story of hope and encouragement for many women. It took a lot of courage through your pain to be able to come out of the emotions that I’m sure you were experiencing. Thanking you for helping so many women deal with the past and present scars left from having an abortion.
Thank you Michelle for your kind & encouraging words. The Lord has made beauty for ashes that is for sure.
What a beautiful story of God triumphing even through our failures. I too had an abortion at the age of seventeen. It was decades before I shared my story and I’ve been amazed by the freedom that came in sharing and also the number of Christian women that have since opened up to share that they too had abortions. You are an encouragement to many and I’m so happy that you are using your experience to help others. I love when God uses our greatest pain for our greatest purpose.
Blessings to you,
Patti
Patti, thank you. One of the sayings that the CEO of our local Pregnancy Center says to the women who speak about their abortion experience is that “we are unleashing our voices”. Yes, it is hard to tell our stories, however because of the hope of Christ I am able to. Thank you for sharing that you too have had an abortion. May the Lord continue to be with you through all these events with Planned Parenthood.
Rosilind, thank you for bring Jennifer’s story to us today.
Jennifer, may the Lord use your story to encourage others to turn their “years that that locust ate” into a beautiful offering to Him. Thank you for sharing this hard story of pain that became purposeful.
Michele, I feel very honored that Rosilind wanted to share my story. Yes, it is hard to share this on Social media, however my prayer is that this will help at least one woman if not many more. I want women to know that they can receive Healing & Hope through Jesus.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jennifer. Speaking from experience, an abortion is not an easy decision. There’s an illusion that it’s a clean cut decision, but there’s more to it than that. I experienced a similiar environment at the clinic. It was such a heart wrenching time for me, yet it was routine for them. That part of my life makes me vulnerable. It’s such a blessing you have turn that experience into a way to praise God. Admirable.
Brandi, Thank you for your encouraging words. Yes, you are right it is not an easy decision & I think most women/girls don’t realize what they are doing or they or numb to even feeling anything. I hope you have received healing from your experience as well. Blessings to you
With all that is going on with Planned Parenthood, this post is so timely! Thanks for the linkup Rosilind!
Rosilind, Please thank Jennifer for sharing her story with you/us! It is so heart-wrenching to read about the results of such a tragic decision. It is for those times that we hand on to His mercy and strength. How wonderful that our redeemer can make all things new!
I do hope you would consider sharing this post at Coffee & Conversation this week…I know it will minister to our readers, too 🙂
Have a great day…and be blessed <3
Oh, and as always…thanks again for hosting this week!!
Pat, Thank you for your kind words. I agree it is a tragic decision & many women are not informed of the emotional aftermath from abortion. Yes, our Redeemer has made all things new for me. He has blessed me with two beautiful children.
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I’ve shared it on all my social media as well.
Thank you Angie for sharing my story on your social media, I feel honored that you would do that. My prayer through all of this is that women will seek to receive healing from their abortion experience if they haven’t already and that they will know that there is hope for them.
You have described the pain and angst of abortion. Thank-you for sharing your story. Our God is amazing–He can heal our wounds and work through our life experiences. Blessings to you and your family.
Carol, thank you for your kind words and yes, God is amazing and He does heal our wounds and works through our life experiences.
Jennifer, I’m sorry you had to endure abuse, and I’m sorry you had to endure your abortion without the information you needed. I’m so glad you are able to help others through your experiences!
Steph, thank you.
Thanks for the party Rosilind. What a inspiring story. I truly have a heart for abortion victims. And I say victims because a lot of women/girls don’t know the truth before making such a life altering decision. They are usually brainwashed into believing that their babies is just tissue.
Trish, thank you for having a heart for these women. There are some women out there who are not Post-abortive that have so much compassion & a heart for us that have experienced an abortion.
I’ve never heard of HEART but what a beautiful group. God never wastes our experiences — He loves to use them to further the kingdom. With all the news of the abortion clinics the last few weeks, it has renewed my determination to pray for those contemplating an abortion.
Such an important testimony for those facing a hard choice or hurting from a past one. Blessings to you as you share to support women. I appreciated reading your journey and your heart to reach out.
Thank you for sharing your testimony. God has surely used you in this ministry. God bless xx
Thank you for courageously sharing your story! The hope that you seep is amazing and I am sure you have blessed others by sharing what so many need to hear… God is at work through your life. I can feel it. 🙂
Your testimony is very similar to my mom’s. She had an abortion at nineteen and went through the HEART program over twenty years later. She’s now a licensed professional counselor helping women recovering from abortions. You’re a brave woman for sharing your story and for following God’s call in your life.
I praise God for your honest sharing of your story. Thank you for sharing this; it is so encouraging. Thank you also for joining the #RaRalinkup with Purposeful Faith. It is a delight to have you.
Thank you so much for sharing! So many people go through these types of things and they think they have to keep it secret for whatever reason. Maybe they’re afraid of what people will think. But I’m so glad you’ve shared and I’m glad you were able to get help through HEART. The whole situation was very sad but I am so happy that you’ve turned it around and now you want to help others. You inspire me!
I’m truly touched by your story. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and I commend you for it. Our Lord is so gracious and merciful and the way He uses our sad stories just blows my mind. I just recently took a huge step of faith and started a blog about my teen pregnancy. I just love that I found your post and I’m now your newest follower. You have inspired me to keep going.
Thank you so much for sharing transparently your testimony of God’s lavish grace, and for allowing Him to use you in such a powerful way in the lives of others considering abortion. This is an issue neglect far too long by Christ’s Church, and I appreciate your emphasis on getting involved as the Lord leads. I’m glad you linked up with us at Grace & Truth!
Thank you for reminding us of the hope we have in Christ. Faith, not wishful thinking but rock solid, hard core knowledge that we will be reunited with the ones that we never had a chance to love on earth.
My daughter, also a self-proclaimed Christian, had an abortion while at a so-called Christian university. She does not openly deny Jesus, but she certainly isn’t walking with him, ever since that happened. She still doesn’t know that I know.
When I found out that my 1st grandchild was in heaven, it was so emotionally traumatic for me that I actually broke the upper part of both sides of my jawbone. The Dr’s call it a severe case of TMJ & claim to not know how these things happen.
Even though she hasn’t asked, I’ve totally and completely forgiven her. I hold myself, not her, guilty. I know I could’ve been a better mother.
But the most important thing is prayer.
Thank you again for sharing.
Oh – your story is so heart wrenching. I can’t imagine the pain both you and your daughter are in. My prayer is that God will intervene, that you and your daughter will be able to sit down and bear your hearts and find healing together. But I also want to say that all of us moms can look back and wish we’d done some things better. Hindsight is always so much clearer. We do the best we can, and then trust that God’s grace will fill in the cracks.
Jennifer:
I don’t know if your group talks to girls or women about this but did you know that the IUD is a form of abortion? When I had my oldest son the doctor told me that to have another child would be a problem for me. You see I had lost 4 children and had 2 children 2 and under in 5 years of marriage. The my living children were born 13 months apart. I was told that I should have my tubes tied and I refused because I always believed G-D had chosen me to have many children. I was then pushed to have a IUD inserted. and was told I had no choice. Two years later I learned that the IUD caused a fertilized egg to be unable to attach to the uterus. I was devastated and made a appointment for the next day with my doctor without telling my husband and had the IUD removed. When I got home I told my husband what I did and also what the IUD was. I am a Messianic Jew and ALWAYS felt that the fruit of the womb was a blessing to a woman and that caused me to spiral into a deep depression that lasted many years. I still think of the children that I may of lost but I know that they are with my heavenly father and with my Brother Yeshua. Please if you have someone ask about the IUD tell them it is nothing but another form of abortion and to stay away. After having the IUD removed I became pregnant with twins. Unfortunately I lost my youngest sons sister and 7 months later I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. That was also caused by the IUD.