Keepers At Home
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2. Be @ Home
I struggled for a long with jealousy of other moms in my church.
They had moms and mothers-in-law close by that could help with the kids. Free babysitting. They could go out with their husbands for hours at a time – all day if they wanted.
I don’t even have a paid babysitter.
Zlatko and I got to go out last week when we were at my in-laws; but it was the first time we’ve been out alone together in so long that we barely remember the time before that!
The pity parties I threw were elaborate….and lonely. Sure, people empathized with me, but no one enjoys attending another person’s pity party.
I longed for just one afternoon alone. Totally alone. No humans in close proximity. And the more I let the weed of envy grow, the more it choked the life and joy out of me.
And I think that this is not uncommon because we read this:
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…” Titus 2:4
My New King James version doesn’t include the word “sober”. So I looked it up in the Greek, and do you know what it means?
“To restore one to his senses, to moderate, control, curb disciple, to hold one to his duty, to admonish, to exhort earnestly.”
This is followed by instruction for one’s duty and the character she should possess as a young wife and mother.
Interestingly enough, you don’t find Titus instructing the older women to watch a younger woman’s children so she can have an afternoon off to go to a health spa.
You don’t see him exhorting them to go help them clean a young, frazzled mom’s home that has been ransacked by a couple of toddlers and we all know that cleaning with toddlers is like trying to nail jello to a wall!
Over the past several months I have wanted very badly to blog about this – blog about my struggle between my gratefulness for being able to stay at home and my introverted personality that cries out for solitude. Yet, I knew that it wasn’t time yet. I still had areas of envy that needed to be rooted out.
I think the 2-month span of illness and injury, that forced me to remain at home for much of that time, helped me see how very blessed I am. And that my pity-party was a major blind spot of immaturity in my life.
And as I pondered on what to blog about this summer I couldn’t get away from “Keepers At Home”. That phrase hammered at me until I knew it was time to blog about some of the lessons I have learned as a stay-at-home-all-of-the-time mom.
I will admit that as I look at Titus 2:4 & 5, I know that I still have much growing to do. I am convicted as I ponder the topics that lie ahead over the next 9 weeks, but I pray that as wives and moms that seek to give our families the best of us, our time, our energy, and our love – that we will grow together in being what God has created us to be:
Wow, I’d never looked into the definition of sober before. That one word really packs a lot of meaning into Titus 2:4. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve raised 5 boys without family close by to help – and I cherish those moments of silence in the home – the rare moments of aloneness – I think that is why I am a night owl – it’s quiet then! I admire the blessing so many women have of that parental support – but God has sent me on another journey – and He paves it with blessings. He knew He equipped me to handle this kind of isolation, gave me the strength to do it – and sent me spiritual mother’s who prayed for me, encouraged me – and when my husband traveled, surprised me with Mac N Cheese every now and then, teach me how to make ginger cookies. A different kind of blessing but just as rich. Wishing you blessing in your journey. Praying that God sends you the spiritual moms to enrich your life!
Thank you for this lovely, heartfelt post. Though not across the globe, I have lived without family and close friends nearby while raising little ones. It is taxing.
I recently looked at the definition of sober as well. My reference included ‘self-controlled, intent, focused’ There is much in that word, isn’t there? I found your blog via Mom’s the Word – so glad I did!
Mums need to have breaks and there nothing wrong with this at all and mums shouldn’t feel guilty for taking a break from their children. Throughout history, most families had other family members near by to help, of course they shared baby sitting even if its not mentioned up in the Bible. Often grandma could lend a hand or a older sibling . Rest helps us refocus, to catch our breath and take stock. If that means going to the hair dressers, that’s ok. We are all human and do need that rest, we aren’t super women. Nor are we machines that just keep on going endlessly. I think some Christian women think its wrong to have wasteful day or rest and enjoy ones self child free , of course it isn’t. Me time is necessary.
http://jo-stophaveachat.blogspot.com.au/
Dear Rosalind
I also read that we should never put off helping another brother or sister in need when we are able to help right now. Also are we to cry with those who cry! I think you desire to have a little time for yourself is normal and necessary for survival and not a pity- party!
Much love XX
Mia
Hello There! I loved your post. Such a sweet reminder that while we are at home, that we should find the joys in being the Keeper of Our Homes. I love being at home, raising my boys, raising them to be godly men, homeschooling them, and keeping my house in order for when my hubby gets home he finds rest and love here. Us moms work 24 hours a day and sometimes we feel wore out, weary and sometimes on the verge of tears, but at the end of each day I know I was meant to stay home and enjoy the blessings to which God has given me. Hang in there!!
Have a wonderful day!
Blessings,
Amy
Great post. Being at home is a privilege to me and I love that. I also live far from my mom, but when my husband and me want to go out for a date we can count on our brothers and sisters in Christ to babysit our daughter.
Thanks. Sometimes I need to read such things. I recognize this. I do not have a ‘babysitting services’ and also can not just leave with my husband for a getaway. Sometimes my husband I went for two days at sea. Then came our oldest daughter and took care of the younger. But now she works in nursing and she has a friend. I love your post. …http://kostbaar.blogspot.nl/
Thanks for the post! I feel like that sometimes too because we live in the country and I dont drive 😛 Some days I just want to get OUT and cant – but remembering what my true purpose is always helps 🙂 that and 2 minutes with the bathroom door locked 🙂
I was one of those moms who was blessed to have parents who would watch my children on occasion. But even so, there were times when I just really wanted that “alone” time. I remember sometimes I would try and escape to a bath after the kids were in bed, but it wasn’t always the best decision because they KNEW I was in there and would sometimes come to the door with an excuse, lol!
Now I am the caretaker for my elderly mom. I have more free time now and yet I have a lot of responsibilities that take up that free time. Still, we are blessed to be doing what we’re doing and being keepers of our homes! Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday!”
Dear Sarah – I am so glad you stopped by! I linked up with you this week.
I hope you are able to homeschool next year. That would be so wonderful for both of you!
I know how hard that is, Nicole. Time goes by so quickly, and from what I hear – we will miss these days when they grow older…but it’s hard to be in the thick of it. I pray that this series will encourage you. I hope you stop back by on Monday to read what the Lord has shared with me.
It sure does, doesn’t it, Linda. I was really surprised when I read that!
Yes – He sure does pave that path with its own special blessings and grace for us for that journey!
I also like the definition you found for “sober” – it really adds so much to that verse!
Yes, I totally agree that mom’s need a break and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I pray that you’ll stop by on Monday to read the balance to this post, because I am addressing this very thing. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your heart!
Yes, Mia, you are so right – it is completely normal to desire some “me” time – and it’s so very necessary. I am actually sharing about that on Monday. I hope you stop by and read the balance to this post. 🙂
I love what you wrote here! I love being home too – I am so blessed the Lord provided a way for me to be able to stay home and care for my family. Thank you for stopping by to comment!
You are so blessed to have wonderful brothers and sisters to help out! It is not easy being far from family, is it?
Thank you, Judith! You are such an example to us all of godly motherhood. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you so much for stopping by to comment. Sometimes it’s easier just knowing that others are going through similar trials. We will be able to go on getaways with our husbands one day – but in the meantime, we have to invest in the little lives we’ve been entrusted with. 🙂
Yes – remembering our true purpose is KEY!! Thank you for stating that!
haha! The bathroom is no longer safe for me either! LOL!!! But yes, we are blessed! Very, very blessed!!
How you crazy bless so many … thanks bunches for splashing around with us at momma notes. Lacing up for the race … hope you’ll join us in cheering other moms on.
http://www.justsarahdawn.blogspot.com
Thank you for being such a wonderful encourager!