Submissive Obedience

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The Keepers at Home Series:

Subordination. Submission. Obedience. 

These are not words often found in the vocabulary of a modern woman. In fact most modern women are taught to reject such ideals.  They are equal to men.  They are liberated and free from subordination.

Yet, God’s Word commands us to lay aside the modern definition of liberation and embrace His plan and design for our lives; realizing that His plan for marriage was one of protection.  The man is submitted to God the Father and those in authority over him (his employer, pastor and governing authorities).  The woman is submitted to her husband.  Children are submitted to their parents.

Chain of command.

And when this authority structure is in proper order, every part is protected.
Titus directed the older women to teach the younger women: “[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”   

Sadly today many older women instruct the younger women to embrace their liberty, freedom and equality!

However, women’s liberation didn’t stop at equality.  It has run roughshod over men.  When you look at movies, sitcoms and commercials men are fat, lazy and stupid oafs who watch TV and drink beer while women are skinny, smart, in shape, and have found their place in the corporate world.

As my dad says, “The most discriminated person in American right now is the white balding male with a bit of a belly.”  

The first step to embracing submissive obedience is to reject today’s image of the male species. Never before have men been so disrespected as they are now. 

I call it reverse chauvinism! 

We are so blind to the fact that we view them as many men used to view women.

Women are superior in mind and body while men are have a lesser ability for obtaining knowledge beyond football and auto mechanics.

God created man in His image; therefore to look at men through this distorted prism is to view God and His creative work as the same!

The second step to embracing submissive obedience is to reject the world’s view of liberation. God didn’t liberate women so she could enjoy an equal position with man!  God’s design for women is not to be used and abused by her husband, nor is it to share an equal position with him.  His design for her is to joyfully and embrace her position under his loving protection.

In this position she has the ability to possess and share her opinions on household matters; with the understanding that she does not have the right to the last word.  She must relinquish that right to the one to whom it was given by right of his position – her husband.

The third step to embracing submissive obedience is to truly view your husband as your authority.  No, you are not his child.  Your relationship with him is a delicate balance of closest companion and leader / protector / head.

It is a perfect balance of

companionship and respect

true freedom and submission
friendship and obedience

I have spent the past several weeks pondering this topic.  It counteracts everything we’ve ever been taught that our position and rights as women should be.

Do I really obey?

When he asks me to do something for him, what is my reaction?

When he makes a decision I do not agree with, how do I respond?

When he corrects the children differently than I would, do I correct him?

When he makes a decision without consulting me first, do I feel that my position and authority have been negated in some way?

When he puts his foot down on a matter and assumes his authority as the head of the home by telling me what I should do, do I suddenly feel an urge to rebel?

Do my reactions and responses reflect society’s norm? Do they mirror how a “modern woman”  is portrayed in the media today?

Or do they mirror God’s design for me?  Humility. Subordination. Submission.  Obedience. Respect. Honor. Love.

Obedience and submission are not just actions, they are attitudes that fuel our action.

This post was shared at Charisma’s SpiritLed Woman under the title: “Are You a Female Chauvinist?”

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  1. What about Galatians 5:23 and Ephesians 5:21, 25-33? We are to submit to one another (husbands to wives too) and they are to love us as Christ loved the Church – which involves giving up everything (washing feet, dying on the cross). That is some submission!!!

  2. Yes, Yes, Yes. Submission is not conditional and that’s what can make it difficult. One sided submission is scary, but ultimately it is submission to God, and that perspective changes everything.

  3. Oh – I totally agree. It’s mutual. I’m just hitting on one aspect here – from Titus 2 (this “Keepers of the Home series). Perhaps I’ll have an opportunity to write about the flip side soon. 🙂

  4. “God created man in His image; therefore to look at men through this distorted prism is to view God and His creative work as the same!”

    When we see man in his fallen state, it can sure be tough to remember that God created him in His image. No wonder the enemy is messing with that image. And, no wonder he’s enlisted women in the demise! As believing women, seems to me we have a holy calling to build up the men in our lives, not tear them down. And, to remember, too, that that good (or bad) image spills over onto us as well.

  5. You are so right, Linda. We have a holy calling to build our husbands up…and when we do, the whole family structure works better. They take on the role of leadership so much better…our children learn obedience from our example….love, grace, harmony. Who wouldn’t want that?

  6. This was very thought provoking and convicting. I know that I could be doing better in this area. I’ve been praying a lot about it, and I’ve improved, but it’s a work in progress. Thanks for this post! I featured it at this week’s Free to Talk Friday. I hope you’ll join again at =)

  7. Hi Rosilind. I really liked your article. I shared it on my own personal wall. This is what my thoughts were on it: “A very thought provoking blog entry. As women,
    we reject the notion of submission. Somehow we feel it equals doormat,
    “giving in”, weak-willed, and any other negative connotation of that
    word. Yes, women fought for freedom. But how far have
    we taken that freedom? “I can do anything you can do, and do it better”
    has become the catch phrase for women. I believe this is part of the
    reason why our society has become so messed up. We have completely lost
    sight of home, family and faith. Today’s women are focused on career,
    material possessions and looking younger. We have totally negated the
    role of men in our society. We have relegated them to where women were
    30+ years ago. We have taken away their authority and their role as
    provider and protector. We need to get back to our core values. We need
    to redefine the roles in our society. I really urge you to read this
    article and ponder the questions that Rosilind asks. I hope it will make
    you take a second look at your own relationships.”

    It’s great that women are strong and that we are empowered to do whatever we set our minds to. This is not always a bad thing. When it turns into a bad thing is when we use it to usurp men’s authority over us. It’s funny how you described how men are viewed today. I heard that exact same description yesterday on the radio (I listen to a Christian station..K-Love). I believe there is a new ad on tv I believe that mentions what you described and they were talking about it yesterday.

    Men, in general, are being given a bad rap. Not ALL men are beer guzzling, “whipped”, pot-bellied do-nothings. Just like women aren’t weak, dumb, no-nothings. Or on the other end of the spectrum, men view strong women as “dykes” or someone to be afraid of. How many times have we heard men jokingly say “Don’t tell my wife…” Men shouldn’t be afraid of their wives, or afraid of their reactions to things (unless they really are doing something wrong/sinful/not of God).

    There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a strong woman. It takes a strong woman to submit herself to God and her husband. That takes strength and courage. It forces us to step out of the “norm” and go against the grain. Not an easy thing to do in this society. I don’t know how many ladies I’ve talked to about this topic and basically got the same response. “I don’t know why you want to be told what to do.” or “I would NEVER submit myself to a man.” or “Well, if you like that sort of thing…” Some people will even believe that it is abusive.

    Yes, there can be a point when something like that CAN be abusive. Especially if the man isn’t being led by God. There are men who will take advantage of a woman who is submissive. They feel they can do whatever they want without any say so from their wife. There is such a fine line that can be easily crossed. Especially if God is not at the center of the relationship.

    I hope women today will take heart. I’m hoping more and more women will be like us and want to serve their husbands as they serve the Lord. I really am happy to see more and more Christian women following this. Thank you for this well-thought out, insightful piece.

    Much Love and God Bless.

  8. Linda – thank you so much for your very well-thought and meaningful comment. It is a pleasure to read what you share, because it encourages me that there are women out there who feel strongly about submission and honoring men. I really enjoyed the graphic you shared, as well. What you said was very well-stated. Thank you so much.

  9. I must say, I disagree with this article. I’ve been raised as a Christian, and my fiancée is also a Christian. I find the idea of putting myself above her as repugnant, that is not a healthy way to maintain a relationship. Whilst I can understand where the article is coming from, phrases such as “she does not have the right to the last word” seem like a surefire way to end up divorced.

    I agree that a marriage is built on love and respect, and keeping God at the centre of the marriage. But that does not equate to the man being in charge of the relationship, does that not seem awfully one-sided? If I were to be against something that my fiancée feels God has told her to do, what’s the right path? Should she give it up as foolishness, because it can’t be God’s will if it is against mine?

    I feel that this is an incredibly derogatory way to live for women, and men who want a partner, not an advisor. I’m certain there will be a lot of couples this works for, and I’m glad if they have a happy marriage based upon this. But to say that a marriage based on equal foundations, with equal roles for husband and wife is the wrong way to live seems absurd.

    Anyhoo, I hope it works for those of you who do prefer this, but it is not the way my fiancée and I will be living. Have a great day, God bless.

    1. While in some ways I can understand your resistance to this, I don’t see submission as domination (and my marriage doesn’t work that way either). I see submission as mutual respect and yet, I choose to relinquish the final word to my husband. I guess I choose to believe that if God has spoken something to me that he hasn’t heart yet, God will speak it to him as well – as my head, as my leader. I will always remember something my mom spoke to me years ago, “Any creature with two heads is a monster.” There can only be one head in our home, and I’m happy to let my husband be that head. He does it so well.

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