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  1. So glad I don’t have toxic friends! I can honestly say none of my friends fit this list! Thanks for hosting the link up!

  2. Thanks for this great article, it gives me heaps to think about , thank you for hosting each week. Blessings

  3. Rosilind , Girlfriend this post was awesome. I really needed this in my teens, my 20s and some of my 30s too. Your 9 traits were absolutely dead on and I thank God for you and this post. This was truly beneficial to me to read and I pray I won’t be toxic or allow toxic people in my inner circle. Be blessed – Kia

    1. Thank you so much!! Oh – and I needed this, too, back then. It would have saved me so much heartache! I am so blessed that this post spoke to you.

  4. Great post. I try to teach my kids how to have healthy friendships and how to let go of the ones that are not good for them. Thanks for hosting this great party every week!

  5. Healthy relationships are so important. I know owe so well about toxic relationships. Kudos. I have had to learn to remove my self from them.

    1. Good job at recognizing them and removing yourself from them. It is tough to do sometimes.

  6. Thanks so much for the party Rosilind. Great article. It is so important that we align ourselves with the right people.

  7. There are so many great posts! Thank you for the link-up. Your list of toxic characteristics is thought-provoking!

  8. Honestly, this article has me analyzing not only my circle of friends but MYSELF! ouch! I want to read that book. I’ve never heard of it before now. Thank you for this. I am looking forward to the next installment.

    1. Yes – examining ourselves is so important. We need to be healthy in order to contribute to healthy relationships

    1. Yes – and me as well. I try to regularly examine my heart to see if any of these exist. I don’t want to poison the wonderful friendships I have!

  9. This is so true and your wrote this out beautifully. I think we all know when we have a toxic friendship and it is these experiences where we can learn not to have these kinds of people in our lives. Thanks for sharing, and for hosting the linky party!

    1. Yes – it is so true. These experiences teach us to keep our eyes and ears open for those who aren’t healthy.

  10. What a great post!! Good reminders. My closest friends have always been ones where there was give-and-take. Such a blessing.

  11. Excellent points! We tend to be slow to recognize a toxic friendship and slower still to pull away from intimacy. Thanks for sharing this, dear!! And thanks for hosting!

    1. You are right – it isn’t so easy to recognize those toxic friendships, and even harder to pull away from them.

  12. This is such a great post! Thank you for sharing these wise words, Rosilind. When it comes to friendships, I have learned that it’s def quality over quantity.

  13. These are such great points! I especially appreciate your statement that those who gossip with you will eventually gossip about you. I’ve found that to be so true, and by God’s grace, I’m thankful for building much healthier relationships these days. Thank you so much for linking up with us at Grace & Truth!

    1. Yes – I have watched that play out in living color in my own life. And if I’m perfectly honest, I’ve sadly been the one who has gossiped to one…and then about that one.

  14. I need to examine myself. I might have seen myself in 1 or 2 of those traits. 🙁
    Thank you for these truths.

    1. Oh – don’t despair. I think we all have at one time or another. I have to remind myself on a regular basis about one or two of them, too.

  15. I can relate to your story in being self-judgmental. I pay attention to my thoughts and reactions and work on releasing judgment of myself and others. It is a process and I am getting better and better. Your list of traits of toxic people is stop on. I am blessed my family members and friends that do not exhibit any of those toxic traits. Thank you for your post

    1. Yes, it is important to see these traits in ourselves as well as in others.

  16. I like self-deprecating people, even if it’s viewed as one of the above listed signs of toxicity. It shows humility, a biblical biggie, and can deflect gossip via not buying into holier than thou-ness. It shows realness, human imperfection, and can hault a tirade of someone airing the dirty laundry of another over brunch. My two cents, but I think they are valuable.

    1. I think it can be positive if it is genuine, but many times it is used to hide behind as well.

  17. Some of these also apply to people who have autism spectrum disorder. It is not that they are toxic, just different. I would hate for someone like my daughter to be judged as being toxic because she cannot find the words to ask about you, may seem to mock a situation, but in reality did not understand it so to her it was funny, jealous of my time because no one else will give her their’s, always right -because of her attention to detail she is often right -or it is a different perspective on the situation or did not understand, defensive because she has been bullied for so many years that she goes into defensive mode when danger is barely sensed by her terrified being and she desperately wants to live….Yes, I often feel discouraged, or emptied because of all the energy that she sucks out of me. I have learned to go to God and ask to be refilled, or to kindly insist that I be allowed to go to bed so I can be there for her tomorrow. She doesn’t gossip. And I am thankful that she is still alive. There were too many years when that was not a sure thing….I would say, watch for these signs in yourself, and fix yourself, then you be the yeast in all of your relationships to work change for the better, but please don’t label her as toxic!

    1. First, I want to applaud you for helping to raise awareness about autism. And while those with autism have needs unique to them, I would hope we could all agree that they also have needs that we all have – the need for relationship, the need for grace, and the need for understanding. I also would hope that as people seek healthy relationships, that they would understand the need to apply grace and understanding to those among us who have limitations that prevent them from relating to those around them in ways that others are able. This article is in the context of those relationships that are truly toxic…in the sense that there are those relationships in which one party seeks to cause drama and intentionally cause pain and broken trust. This, most certainly, wouldn’t apply to someone with autism and who perhaps has some of the behaviors in this article, but unintentionally so.

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