The Head of Woman

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These past two weeks have garnered some very interesting and diverse comments.  I have been challenged, myself, to examine my own heart and life – my own actions as opposed to my beliefs, because it is one thing to speak your beliefs but quite another to live them out day after day.

I think it is important to remember two things:

1. Paul admonished husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it.  This is not a verse to hang over our husband’s head, but it is critical if submission is to work as it should.  In another place Paul instructed husbands and wives to be submitted to one another.

2.   I purposely did not address the husband’s role in my posts, as I have been focusing solely on Titus 2 and speaking directly to women.  Titus’ instructions here are to women alone and no where in the Word does it qualify the command to submit.  No where do we see a verse “Obey and submit to your husband except in circumstances when he doesn’t love you as Christ loves the church.” 

However, I do firmly believe that if a woman is in an abusive situation she must leave for her safety and the safety of her children.  This doesn’t mean she should divorce him. That is another conversation for another day.  But to stay is inviting severe consequences. Please know that while the Word commands us to submit and obey , it does NOT command us to remain in a dangerous situation. 

Anyone who instructs a woman to remain in an abusive situation does not have a clear understanding of Christ and the commands of scripture!

I find this verse in Titus 2 so very fascinating.  Every word is rich and full of meaning.  But this part of the verse I find particularly interesting, deep, and profound.

“That they admonish the young women to…be…obedient to their own husbands.” Titus 2:4-5

Do you believe that every word in the Bible carries meaning?  Is there any word in the Bible that is there by coincidence?

I believe that we can take every word in the Bible at face value.  So why does Titus say that young women should obey their own husbands, as opposed to someone else’s husband?

Think about it.

Are there times when we have taken on a ministry role despite our husband’s reluctance or outright opposition?

Are there times when we have chosen to attend a company dinner, when our husband preferred we stayed home with him and the family?

Have there been times when we sought out the counsel of our father or a spiritual leader without the permission of our husbands to share our private matters?


Any time we go over his head to please another man: boss, ministry leader, father, brother, pastor – whomever that man may be; any time we seek counsel of another man without our husband’s permission or presence; any time we seek out biblical and scriptural clarification without our husband’s permission or presence, we run the risk of not being obedient to our own husband.

“That they admonish the young women to…be…obedient to their own husbands.” Titus 2:4-5

We are actually more prone to this than we think.


Have you been guilty of obeying a man who is not your husband?  Me, too.

I have been so convicted by this passage.  And yet, I realize that my choice to obey my husband, even at the expense of disappointing or even angering another man, actually works to protect me! It protects me from possible commitments that may put unnecessary strain on my family and counsel that may counteract the vision God has given my husband for my family.

Anytime we go above our husband’s head, we remove the protective covering God has perfectly designed for us.

What about those situations when we sense that He is not allowing us to fulfill a role we feel God has called us to?

Pray!  Prayer works in amazing ways.

1. Pray God’s will.  The best prayer to pray is: “Let your will be done”.

2. Pray for change.  First and foremost pray for God to change your heart.  That your heart aligns with God’s perfect and present will.  Perhaps what you feel God has called you to is a role for the future, not now.  Perhaps there is more to that call than you know, and He needs to change and prepare you for what lies ahead.

3. Pray for your  husband.  Pray that his heart aligns with God’s will. Pray for God’s wisdom on him to lead the family. Pray that he have clear direction to guide the family.

I more convinced now than ever before about the power a wife has in prayer for her husband.  And an excellent resource on this topic is Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of the Praying Wife.



And Titus closes off his instructions to women with: “That the word of God may not be blasphemed.”

I can’t wait to delve into this next week as we wrap up this powerful series on Titus 2!  I hope you’ll join me, and be sure to check out the above links to the previous posts in this series.