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  1. You have hit the nail right on its head! Your 4 reasons are right on! As well, your ways to strengthen our faith.

    I’m in the process of starting my own blog aimed at Christian men who are struggling with faith issues. I would like to be supportive of your blog by sharing links to posts from time to time.

    You are invited to visit MEN WHO CONQUER to read what I have been blogging. It’s great to find other bloggers to support!

    1. Gary – thank you for your encouragement, and welcome to the blogosphere! I am so glad that you’re starting a blog for men (great name, btw!), that is a much needed niche, and thank you for your invite. I will be definitely checking you out. I would also like to invite you to visit my dad’s blog. He is a pastor of over 50 years and blogs at fdeanhackett.com.

  2. Thank you for being one of the sane, balanced, firmly rooted in Scripture voices today. So rare. May God continue to bless you with wisdom, strength, and boldness.

  3. I am inspired every time I visit this website, today I thought to leave a message. I am blesses beyond measures,most of time I use this website materials to teach the church here in Kenya, maybe you might like also to check this out https://INSPIRATIONALLIFELESSONS.CO.KE you inspire me

  4. Thanks, Rosilind! It is so difficult when I feel like I am on the wrong side of Christianity these days. I don’t agree with a lot of what I see as “hate” that my Christian friends preach toward anyone who disagrees with them. I know people calling themselves Christian who post one post on how we are supposed to love one another, then another post that rails against “communist” Democrats. I’m not exaggerating on this! It’s like they have completely forgotten what they say they believe. Thank you for your message. Jan

  5. I recently found your site while researching the enneagram for a post I was writing. I am thrilled to find your writings— thank you for addressing the hard topics with clarity and truth!!! Sadly, it is rare to find. Bless you as you continue to share truth.

  6. Weird. I did literally all of the things you suggest and none of the things you say make people lose their faith, and yet I still discovered that not one of Christianity’s beliefs are founded on reality and deconverted. Isn’t that a weird thing? In fact, I’ve never met an ex-Christian who described their faith like you think we experienced it. They talk about all four of your deconversion-proofing techniques in their lives. You sound either delusional or like you’ve never once met any ex-Christians. May I suggest the deconversion ex-timonies over at ex-Christian.net? You’ll find thousands of them, and I’m sure at least some of them will fit into your narrow little boxes of virtuous excuses. Mine 100% would.

    When I was Christian, I was exactly and precisely like you, in fact. I thought I knew exactly what made people lose faith. None of those things were things *I* was doing though, so I would surely be deconversion-proof. Only those who were insufficiently Jesus-y would ever lose faith, and I was Jesus-ed to the max! I know if you’d met me you’d have thought I would NEVER deconvert. I sure never thought I would.

    And yet I did.

    You know what caused my deconversion?

    A lot of things happened all at once that absolutely none of my talking points convincingly hand-waved away. I think typically Christians constantly face contradictions of their beliefs from reality — again, none of those beliefs are based in reality — but their indoctrinations hand-wave them away before they get too serious. But if enough happens at once, then the hand-waving looks just as silly and foolish as it really is. Suddenly our beliefs snap into focus and we see things we can never un-see again. We do all the things our leaders tell us to do: we read the Bible, we cry out to Jesus, blah blah blah. None of it works. We’ve seen too much. We can never un-see.

    And then I see hateful, smug, self-congratulatory virtue signals like this, and I think to myself how happy I am to have left such a toxic tribe.

    As long as you and other Christians think that deconversion only happens to fake or weak Christians, your decline will continue — and your credibility will only continue to suffer. You need to grapple with the very serious contradictions to your beliefs offered by reality constantly. Until you accept that reality absolutely does not cooperate with your beliefs, nothing will change.

    Worse, you sound hateful toward ex-Christians. You are smearing and mischaracterizing us to feel better about your religion’s decline and to feel like your faith is a little safer from deconversion than it is. We know you, and we know why you act like this. It does not make your faith look strong. It makes it look very, very weak and fragile. It can only survive if you act like this toward those who’ve left. That does not speak well of you or your faith. Please think about this, next time you feel the need to shoot off your big mouth about a group you know nothing about, okay?

  7. dale carnegie says:

    I wouldn’t be so quick to sniff and scoff at those who have walked away from their faith. Many have had true faith yet serious troubles can easily capsize your boat. Some of you say “Oh I’d never let go of my faith.” Really? How bout if your child or grandchild was abducted, raped and murdered? You think you’d get through that? How about getting sent to prison for 20 yrs for a crime you didn’t commit? There are plenty of horrible things that could hit you and sink your faith. You think not? Sometimes the burdens of life are unbearable. Don’t be quick to scorn those who have walked away. You don’t know what they’ve been through.

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