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  1. Rosilind, Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for all you experienced and so thankful for the healing God has given. I know your words will bring courage and hope to others struggling with the wounds of abuse. Many blessings!

    1. Karen Neighbors says:

      THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. IT MEANTS A LOT OT TO HEAR IT.

      1. Oh Karen, thank you for letting me know that my story spoke to you.

    2. Yes – God has so healed that area of my life so that it is almost as if I am speaking about someone else. I pray that other women will be encouraged by it. Thank you for your encouragement to ME!

  2. Denyse Saxton says:

    Thank you for sharing this Rosilind. It was almost as if I was reading about myself and the things I have been through. I thank God every day for you and your blog. Love in Christ!! <3

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I am sorry you had to walk through this, too, but I pray that who you are in Christ becomes even more of a reality each and every day!

  3. Thank you for your encouragement of being able to leave the past to a bright future in Christ. I am currently where you were at in the past; past sins being held over me and doing everything I can not to make my spouse angry. Thinking that if I give my spouse more love and more of me, I can “fix it”. Questioning my every move and word, and at the end of the day asking if I did or said anything that I shouldn’t have. I know that the battle isn’t mine, it is God’s. Satan uses some days to bring me down, and try to control the battle. I have found crying out to Jesus brings peace. Thank you again for sharing your story.

    1. At some point we have to recognize that we can’t fix it. Only God can fix it. All we can do is learn to embrace who we are in Christ and walk in the joy of that, no matter what the other person says or thinks. It’s not easy, it is downright hard, in fact. But at some point we have to release ourselves from the burden of “fixing” and controling the thoughts and emotions of the other person. I am sorry you are having to walk this journey. I am praying that God will raise you up from that so that you can walk free, no matter what others try to throw back in your face!

  4. I think too often we get hurt because we’re seeking approval from people, and not acknowledging that we already have God’s approval. And since I have God’s approval, I can love and approve of myself no matter how anyone else tries to define me.

    1. Yes, I believe you are correct. I know I battle with that a lot, as a firstborn. It has been a long journey learning to value God’s approval over man’s approval.

  5. I loved your post. It took everything in me to not cry because I’ve been where you’ve been. About seven years ago, I was in a relationship with a guy who treated me just like that. I remember one specific moment where I begged him to stay after I admitted to him that I had a sip of alcohol with a girlfriend of mine when we were broken up (my parents broke us up because they clearly saw him for what he was, but alas I did not, and rebelled). He almost broke up with me, but he didn’t. That happened too many times to even count. After a year or so more of that and other abusive tactics, he broke up with me, and I was devastated, up until the day my rose colored glasses finally fell off. I’m so thankful that it ended and I didn’t end up with him. How miserable I would be. I went through the very process that you’re writing about. It surely works! I’m now happily married and have known true love that God blessed me with for about 5 years.

    1. Oh, Amanda! I am so glad that the Lord rescued you as He did me. Sometimes we get too caught up in our own desires for who we WANT that person to be, and our own emotions, to see reality. But thank God for His grace to do more than just rescue us. He RENEWS us! I am blessed to read your story!

  6. Love your blog. Thank you for sharing. So many of us woman have suffered in our identity somehow and I love your advice.

    1. I pray these articles are helpful to women in learning to embrace who they truly are in Christ!

  7. Thank you for sharing your story! It mirrors my own. I grew up in a loving Christian home. But ended up in an abusive relationship. The focus of our whole relationship WAS the relationship. Trying to make it work. The only thing we really had in common was a physical attraction, which really makes me sick now. He “broke up” with me constantly. Usually over things that I had done that he felt proved that I was unfaithful. In the end, I would look down at the ground when I walked because if I even happened to glance in the direction of a few people that he was “sure” that I was interested in, he would go into a tirade. I had no friends. I NEVER talked to other guys. I totally lost my identity to him. Whenever he didn’t like something that I did, wore, said; I would Immediately try to change it. He threatened to physically harm me if he thought I cheated. All this …. and we got engaged. In the end, he broke up with me. That always bothers me. I wish I had the backbone to break up with him. But the important thing is that I escaped. All of this took place at a Christian College. He was a professing Christian, desiring to go into the ministry. I don’t think I truly realized how toxic our relationship was until a few years ago when I saw a poster that outlined an abusive relationship. Our relationship fit it to a T. Thank God, several years later, I met a wonderful man who loves me just as I am and puts no stipulations on his love for me.

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