For many of us, routine is a good thing. For me it is.
I thrive on having a schedule – and I have lots of them! I have a weekly schedule for my kids, cleaning schedule, cooking schedule, organization schedule, school schedule, and even a blogging schedule.
I love being organized and having things flow nicely and in order.
However, I have learned that too much routine in my marriage puts us into a rut.
When my husband and I just connect at the same points of time, in the same ways, doing the same things every day, week in and week out, we loose the flavor in our marriage.
To be sure, there are parts of our marriage that are routine.
My hubby takes our kids to school in the morning.
As a working mom (I work part time outside of the home) we find value in me being home, without the kids, for an hour in the morning to get dinner going, laundry started and a room or two organized. This is also when I have my personal time with the Lord. So, yes, some of your day to day task might be routine.
However, the way you show affection and quality time together should not be routine.
Think about when you were dating. You did things often for your significant, just because. He sent flowers, you sent a card. You did surprise dates and impromptu gifts.
Things were done just because you wanted to show the other you were thinking about them.
But what about now?
Do you do things for your spouse just because – or is it only out of duty and routine.
6 Things A Wife Can Do To Freshen Her Marriage
- Send a text, just to let them know you are thinking about them.
- Cook their favorite meal – without being asked.
- Buy a favorite snack and leave it in their vehicle or with their lunch.
- Leave a card under their pillow or on the mirror in the bathroom
- Leave a lipstick note on the bathroom mirror.
- Pick a night to watch a movie they would like (yes, no chick flick!)
These are just a few ways that you can do some things, out of the ordinary for your husband. One other area that I think a lot of wives get stuck in is their sex life.
Yes, I said the dreaded three letter word.
As women, we are quick to just allow ourselves to do “our duty” of keeping our men satisfied. Satisfied and happy are not the same thing.
We go through the same motions every time we have an intimate moment with our husbands. It really is sex and not making love.
However, it is important that we take the routine out of this very intimate and personal area of our lives.
I once knew a couple who scheduled sex. Not just for having a baby- but all the time. There were certain days when they would have sex.
Now, there might be some good to this.
I know it is hard to find time to be together – especially if there are kids involved. However, we need to have unscheduled times of affection too.
We need to pursue our husbands sexually.
Make it a priority of our day and surprise our husbands with a little out of the routine love making time.
I find that the more I do the out of routine things I mentioned above – the more I am keeping my husband at the front of my mind – the more apt I am to make love making a non-routine based activity as well.
It isn’t as enjoyable for your spouse when he feels like making love is just a “part of the routine”. I know there are seasons of life when we are in routine mode.
New babies, moves, and life changes often make us go into auto pilot and we find marriages in the routine rut. It happens to us all.
The key is, when we find ourselves in the rut, or even if our husband points it out to us, that we respond with grace and make a change.
Keep your marriage as a constant priority in your life.
What are some things you do to keep your marriage the priority it should be- I would love to hear about it!
Mandy is passionate about two things: The Word of God and the Souls of Men (and Ladies!). She is a married to her best friend, and gets the privilege to love on their three blessings (who lost their biological momma a few years ago leaving her husband widowed). She loves that the Lord has let her life be an example of delighting in Him and watching Him mold her life to make her desires match His. She spent 9 years in an early childhood classroom, and 4 years in an “in house” seminary program at her home church. She loves EVERYTHING about being married, and loves to bring God glory through her roles as Christ-follower, Wife and Mother (in that order!) She enjoys women’s ministry, cooking, crafting, and traveling the world. Her greatest desires are to have her marriage bring God ultimate glory, see her children walk in truth, to lead others to the feet of Jesus, and to lead women into deeper and intimate relationship with their Savior through study of the Word of God. Mandy blogs personally at Worshipful Living, encouraging women to live out their faith in every aspect of their lives.
Resources for Marriage:
1. 30 Day Prayer Challenge for Marriage
2. 14 Days of Agape Video-Based Bible Study
Get 30% off of the 14 Days of Agape Video-Based Bible Study when you use the coupon code Agape. Learn more about this exciting and revolutionary Bible study when you click here or the image below.
3. My Book Reviews
4. My favorite books on marriage:
(You can also check these out in my online store)
Women Living Well: Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your HomeMessy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life MarriagesSilver Threads: Weaving Godly Wisdom Into the Lives of Younger WomenThe Unveiled Wife: Embracing Intimacy with God and Your HusbandEvery Wife’s Choice: Loving Beyond the Mood of the MomentHope for the Hurting Wife: 30 Days of Practical Encouragement for Your Marriage100 Prayers for Your Marriage: Draw Close to Each Other and Closer to GodMessy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life MarriagesThe Good Wife’s Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help MeetThe Power of a Praying® WifeThe 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that LastsThe Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
5. More A Little R & R articles on marriage: