I really blew it the other day! But here is what the Lord reminded me about those moments when we've failed.

4 Things to Remember When You’ve Failed

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I really blew it the other day! But here is what the Lord reminded me about those moments when we've failed.

I’m sitting here typing with a heavy heart.

I’ve been carrying it around for a day and a half now…it’s kind of a heavy load to bear.

You see – yesterday I messed up.

 

I’m in a tough place momentarily because I need an operation that I have to wait for (please don’t worry too much, I’ll be okay. Really. I promise). 

I thought I was going to have the operation Monday, but instead I spent the day having tests and getting medicated. My type-A personality was getting stomped all over because I wanted to get it done.

Don’t waste time.

Just do what needs to be done and let me recover, because I have super-important things to do and this is just in the way.

Get me?

I am a do-er. I am a get-‘er-done-er type person. I don’t saunter. I march.

The problem is that I wanted to march in and take control of a situation over which I have no control.

And that’s where I messed up first.

 

I lost control over my schedule and that made me crazy.

I spent a whole day subjected to someone else’s schedule, which to me equated wasting time. I actually laid there in the hospital bed counting how many hours I’d wasted on this “fool’s errand”. That made me super cray-cray!

And rather than allowing the peace of the Lord to calm my heart (because, let’s face it, I was in a situation where someone else was in control. So I should have just sat back and enjoyed a day off.) I allowed the loss of control to not only steal my peace, but my joy….and my testimony.

 

By the time I arrived home, I was not only in physical pain, but I was tired, cranky and bitter.

May I give you a piece of unsolicited advice?

When you are in pain, tired, cranky and bitter do not talk to anyone but Jesus.

Whenever we are these things, our tongue has a way of running away with itself and if the only person we talk to in that unbridled moment is Jesus, we at least still have our testimony and reputation in tact.

Unfortunately, I had a moment of temporary amnesia and forgot to only talk to the Lord and I went on….

wait for it…….

Facebook.

I can hear the collective groan right now.

 

Fortunately for me, the amnesia wasn’t so bad that I posted to my wall. No, but to whom I posted was bad enough. In my anger and bitterness I made a few insulting remarks about the country I live in, shut the laptop and went to bed.

I wish I could erase that moment.

I really do.

It was beneath me to say what I said, and you’re probably thinking, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’ve all done it. People get over it and move on.”

That’s true.

But, the one who made the mistake sometimes has trouble moving on.

 

I’m that type of person.

I’m harder on myself than I am on anyone else I know.

I extend grace liberally to those around me, but I’m very stingy with myself. Everyone else is allowed 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 20th chances, but I have only 1 chance to get it right.

Zero tolerance for mistakes.

 

What do you do when you’ve messed up and you feel like you can’t move on from it.

1. Realize that your guilt is probably really pride. My inability to grant myself grace is really pride. I have to be perfect. You know why? Because I have to be the best. I have to be 100% on my game…all the time because I only want people to see the best of  me now.

I know – I’m also very self-deprecating….it’s an odd-balancing act of sharing my past faults “but look at me now. Now I’m perfect. I’ve moved on. Improved.”

Not so much.  Because yesterday I proved that I still haven’t bridled my anger nor my tongue!

 

2. Realize that fruit takes time to grow. The fruit of the spirit can’t be ordered at a drive thru as you sail through life. “Ummmm…yes, hello. I’d like an order of self-control, meekness…..and could you throw in some joy with that, too? Thank you!”

Wouldn’t that be nice?

But no. When you plant a tree, you don’t get fruit on it for several years. And the first year, you may get just a few apples. It takes time, growth, pruning and a lot of care to grow fruit.

So we need to be patient with ourselves, because God is obviously patient with us. Otherwise, He’d have used a different illustration…..like vegetables. Because you can plant vegetables and have a harvest in just a matter of months, as opposed to fruit that takes years!

 

3. Forgiveness is extended in two directions. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Especially when you have high expectations of yourself. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others because you don’t expect as much from them as you do yourself. But when you don’t allow yourself to fail, you have trouble extending forgiveness to yourself when you do.

But refusal to extend forgiveness to yourself will drive you into a rut of self-condemnation.

As you rehearse your failure, you continue to heap condemnation on yourself until you stumble under the sheer magnitude of it’s load.

Let.It.Go.

Forgive yourself.

Surely others have forgiven you. And if they haven’t, then that’s an issue between God and them because God has forgiven you.

I’m writing this to myself tonight…and already I feel better.

 

But the best thing we can do for ourselves when we’ve failed is

4. Learn from our mistakes. Don’t use your failure as a switch to constantly batter yourself, use your failure as a pointer to teach yourself a lesson.

Same tool, different purpose!

 

God wants to use our failures as launching pads, if we’ll just surrender them into His hands.

I have.

Will you?

Rosilind
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8 Comments

  1. Oh Rosilind, I feel your pain. You knew my responses! I gasped when I read Facebook (collective groan-correct). And I said, “Oh…” when you mentioned what you wrote. Oh well, is all I can say. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment. You offered great advice. And my unsolicited advice-perhaps all of what you felt was due to your lack of control. And further advice? From one who has had surgery (and also likes to be in control)–wow, did that teach me about trust. I think that the biggest reason we get nervous about “going under” is because we are literally putting our lives into the hands of someone we don’t really know all that well, but trust enough to take a knife to us (or a robot in my case). I think that you’ll find this whole surgery experience to be quite a teaching time with God. Rest in it. Listen to what He is telling you. And allow others to wait on you!!! Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

    1. Oh yes, definitely – what I felt was my lack of control Yes, this is de1initely a new level of trust for me, and I’ll say that I wouldn’t take anything for this journey. I feel like I’ve really grown in some big areas of my life. God is so faithful to use every situation for His glory!

  2. What a lesson you learned! It is hard to not talk when we are tired, hungry, hurting, or upset. Thank God that he loves us enough to forgive us, and give us strength to forgive others. Hope you feel better soon! Prayers for surgery to be soon and recovery speedy.

    #TheCozyReadingSpot

  3. I was nodding along with you, friend…especially here, “When you are in pain, tired, cranky and bitter do not talk to anyone but Jesus.”. That needs to be on a note card and hung where we can see it. And that grace-thing that we give to others, I wonder if He allows us to find ourselves knee deep in the failure to receive grace for ourselves from the One who extends it liberally, because failure is often one of the best ways to learn in a life-changing way?? I don’t know I think I learn the hard way more than anything else, and like you, I am really hard on myself, too.

    Praying for your heart to be full of His Mercy and for your surgery and recovery time to be fill with His peace and comfort.

    Thanks for sharing this.
    Blessings,
    Dawn

    1. Yes – I think I’ll make a FB graphic with that one today. 🙂 “I wonder if He allows us to find ourselves knee deep in the failure to receive grace for ourselves from the One who extends it liberally” – yes! I think He does. I know this is exactly what happened to me…and it’s the only way I truly learned what grace is.

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