3 Essential Lessons from Jonathan and David on Loving the Church

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Have you been hurt by the church?

Church hurt is one of the most painful hurts we experience, because we have an expectation of the church being a safe place.

Perhaps that expectation isn’t wrong. We are called the body of Christ, after all.

However, we often forget that the body of Christ is made up of imperfect members. Broken people. Flawed individuals who are still in the process of sanctification.

Today, we’ll discover, through three essential lessons from Jonathan and David, how a broken and flawed church can show the same love and grace that God has shown to us all.

Having grown up in church my whole life, I have also experienced church hurt from both sides of the pulpit – being a pastor’s kid and a congregant.

After 52 years in the church, I can safely say that church hurt is inevitable and inescapable.

But our response to that hurt is crucial and will determine if we are going to help our churches be an environment for pain or love and healing.

We can allow church-hurt to make us:

• Bitter
• Cynical and
• Angry

Or we can choose to respond with:

• Love
• Grace and
• Forgiveness

We see this illustrated so clearly in the story of David and Jonathan.

3 Essential Lessons from Jonathan and David on Loving the Church

David had already been anointed king, but was in a holding pattern until the time when God would allow him to take the throne.

In the meantime, he and King Saul’s son Jonathan had become best friends.

In 1 Samuel 18-20, we read about a battle going on between King Saul, who is being animated by evil spirits, and David.

Jonathan is – in a very real sense – caught in the middle.

His father, on one side, who he knows is in the wrong, and David, his best friend, on the other side.

Jonathan chose to protect David.

In this story, we find three powerful lessons about loving, honoring, and protecting our brothers and sisters in Christ.

1. Jonathan made a covenant with David

Throughout 1 Samuel 18-20, we read a number of times that Jonathan made a covenant with David.

What is fascinating to realize is that as long as King Saul was alive, Jonathan was next in line for the throne. And yet, he chooses not to allow jealousy and ambition to poison their friendship.

He chose, instead, to make a covenant with David.

A covenant is different from a contract.

A contract can be made null and void if one party refuses to hold up their end, or if both parties choose to nullify the contract.

A covenant is an everlasting agreement that is only made null and void by the death of one of the parties.

What was that covenant?

That covenant was that David and Jonathan would protect and care for one another.

When we choose to follow Christ, we are joined to a spiritual family with whom we are in covenant, sealed by the blood of Jesus.

All throughout the New Testament, we read about this “body” and this “house”, in which we have a part.

How well do you uphold your covenant to protect and care for the body of Christ?

At one time, I got very much caught up in this. I criticized ministries, pastors, and musicians. I spoke out against pastors of large churches who had a philosophy of ministry different than my own.  

I condemned worship leaders who led differently than I would lead, and against Christians who held different standards than me.  

I even attacked fellow missionaries – fellow workers in the ministry who have the same vision and calling that I do.

The more I criticized, the more I found to criticize.

Accusing the brethren day and night.  

Shooting poisonous arrows filled with my own spiritual pride.

Annihilating their reputation.

I often did not know the whole story, only what I read in a Christian magazine (which is often tainted by the writer’s opinion) or watched on YouTube.  

I often quoted someone’s quote without bothering to do my own homework to find out if the quote was in context or not, or what the speaker was actually trying to say.  

Thus, I formed an opinion and freely shared it with all who would listen.

I failed to keep my part of the covenant of Christian brotherhood.

It is easier to break this covenant than to keep it.  

It is not easy to stop a slanderer or a gossip and tell them you cannot listen to their poisonous words.  It takes great courage to do so.  

It is easier to entertain negative and critical thoughts than it is to reign them in and bring them under control.

And yet, this is part of the Christian covenant.

2. Jonathan Refused to Engage in Attacks on David

In 1 Samuel 19, we read about the evil spirit that came over Saul, filling him with so much envy and rage that he continually sought to kill David.

After that, for years, Saul would spend his time and energy chasing after David, attempting to kill him.

But in 1 Samuel 20, Jonathan makes a very solid choice to go against his father, King Saul, and protect David.

He came up with a way to signal David whether or not it was safe to approach the palace by shooting arrows into a field.

He remained steadfast in his decision, even though his father verbally attacked him.

Then Saul’s anger was aroused against Jonathan, and he said to him, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, you shall not be established, nor your kingdom. Now therefore, send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.” 1 Samuel 20:30-31

There may be times when those around us are attacking another brother or sister, and we feel pressured to join in.

I want to add a disclaimer: It is not an attack to recognize if a pastor or leader is teaching false doctrine or walking in open and unrepentant sin.

Jesus and Paul taught that we need to take specific steps necessary with such a brother or sister to guide them to a place of repentance.

We see in 1 Samuel 20, David had done nothing wrong.

King Saul was attacking David unprovoked and for no reason, and when he realized Jonathan was protecting him, he began attacking even his own son.

When we see brothers or sisters attacking one another, it is our responsibility to protect them from these attacks, even if it means we put ourselves in the line of fire.

3. Jonathan Honored and Elevated David

Remember when I mentioned that Jonathan should have been next in line for the throne?

It is so powerful to realize that not only did Jonathan know that David had been anointed king by Samuel the prophet, but he recognized David’s anointing and honored it.

“And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.” 1 Samuel 18:4

By this action, Jonathan was recognizing David’s role as the future king and surrendering to it.

Paul urges us, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Philippians 2:3

One of the greatest ways we can cultivate love in the body of Christ is to take our eyes off ourselves and really see and honor one another.

We lose nothing by elevating another.

In fact, when we choose to elevate others, we are uplifted in the process.

God’s economics are so different from our own.

In worldly economics, by giving to others, we must first subtract from our own resources. But in God’s economics, by giving to others, we all experience a multiplication of our resources.

“Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

You see, when we give, we not only receive, but we receive in greater measure than we gave because that measure is:

• Abundant (good measure)
• Pressed down
• Shaken together (to make sure all of the crevices are filled)
• Running over

But you see that last part: “For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Jesus expects us to give with that same generosity with which we are given.

The Conclusion of the Matter

When we received Christ and were baptized, we became part of the body of Christ worldwide and entered into a covenant relationship with all who are part of that body.

Rather than protecting those we are in covenant with – as Jonathan protected David – we sometimes take on the role of Saul and seek to destroy them.

I have a question for you today.

Are you a Jonathan or a King Saul?

Are you protecting, or are you destroying?

If this is a struggle area for you, if you sometimes find yourself, like me, believing the bad reports, spreading gossip and negativity – I want to offer you this free resource that will take you on a journey of meditating on what God’s Word has to say about the church.

Just click this link here, or the image below, to download your free copy.

To learn more about the 30 Day Prayer Challenge for the Church, go here.