3 Things That Do Not Define Patience

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We’ve all prayed that prayer, “God, give me patience. And make it fast!”

We laugh when we say it. But deep down, we mean it.

When we think of the fruit of the Spirit, most of them feel encouraging: love, joy, peace… But patience? That one feels different.

But perhaps that is because we don’t really define patience very well.

We often equate patience with suffering. Perhaps because in some translations the word “long suffering” is used.

But “suffering” doesn’t mean suffering in the sense that we feel tormented by the behavior of others.

It means choosing to stay. To endure. To walk with others. Even when it’s slow, uncomfortable, or inconvenient.

There are three things that we misunderstand about patience. It’s time to clear them up!

3 Things That Do Not Define Patience

1. Passivity

We often think of patience as someone waiting around for something to happen.

As a little kid, when you would incessantly ask your mom for a cup of juice while your mom was ironing your dad’s dress shirt, she would reply, “Be patient!”

And you would be forced to wait until she was done.

While patience most often requires waiting, waiting doesn’t have to be passive. While we’re in a state of waiting, God is doing a work in our hearts.

We have become so used to everything being instantaneous. Instant food, instant coffee.

We don’t like to wait for things, and not having to wait has become a positive trait in this world; but in the Kingdom of God, it is just the opposite.

The more we learn to look at waiting as an active work, the more we understand that patience isn’t passively waiting for something; it is actively allowing God to grow His character in our hearts.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  (James 1:2-4)

But patience doesn’t just challenge how we wait… it challenges how we think.

2. Pessimism

Patience requires faith, the kind that refuses to be shaken.

The kind that knows deep down something is true and will never be swayed.

So often, the longer we’re forced to wait for something, the more we begin to lose hope that there will be a good outcome. So we grow pessimistic and cynical.

In reality, we start thinking, “It’s probably not going to work out anyway.”

True patience is choosing to trust God in the process.

The process may be long, and it may tempt us to get frustrated, but we know that the process is really only God doing His work in our hearts.

It also trusts God with the outcome, knowing that if the outcome doesn’t look like what we’d envisioned, God has something much better in mind.

Patience and faith are intricately intertwined.

And patience changes our personal identity.

3. A Victim Mentality

Patience doesn’t make you a prisoner, trapping you in a holding pattern until someone decides you’ve waited long enough.

We feel this way sometimes, when dealing with people:

• A manipulative or abusive family member
• An unfair neighbor
• A controlling boss
• An irritating co-worker

We drag ourselves through the situation with a victim mentality, waiting until it’s over.

However, this isn’t the picture of patience we read in the Bible.

God doesn’t make us victims, He makes us victors!

Patience requires a renewal of our minds and a reset of our emotional defaults!

God doesn’t design negative circumstances, but He does allow them and chooses to use them to bring about good things in our lives.

Perhaps He wants to teach you the value of having personal boundaries or the joy of giving grace to those around us when it’s not deserved or earned.

Maybe He wants to teach us that it’s okay to stand up for justice or to look past someone’s idiosyncrasies so we can see their beauty inside.

When we stop looking at negative circumstances, we need to remember this:

It is not something being done to us,
But something God wants to do through us

When we remember this, we’ll be free from our victim mentality and begin rejoicing in the fact that He has made us to be more than conquerors through Christ Jesus!

When we allow God to renew our minds and allow that seed of faith to be planted in our hearts, we will begin to approach patience from a whole new perspective.

Patience will stop feeling like punishment… and start looking like purpose.