What to Do When You Have Been Betrayed

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Is there anything that rips through your soul worse than realizing you have been betrayed by a trusted friend or loved one?

It is an event that shatters your world and leaves you angry and questioning everything.

We see betrayal happen throughout Scripture, all the way back to the first family ever created, when Cain betrayed Abel by killing him in a jealous rage.

But it is David who shows you exactly how you should respond when you have been betrayed.

There is almost no worse betrayal that one could experience than being betrayed by your own child. Being betrayed by your child is eclipsed only by being betrayed by your spouse.

Imagine for a moment how painful it would be for your child, your own flesh and blood, whom you raised and trained, and watched grow, betray and rob you of your livelihood, career, and calling.

How painful that would be.

What to Do When You Have Been Betrayed

In Psalm 3, we read these words:

LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God.”

David is grieving the loss of his son Absalom. His son had not died, but had turned against him.

However, not only had Absalom turned against him, but he also went behind David’s back and began manipulating the citizens of the nation of Israel.

He had begun to turn the nation against David.

David went on to say:

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.

Indicating the thousands of Israelites who were revolting with Absalom while betraying David, the king they’d loved and celebrated years earlier, after Goliath’s defeat.

What short memories they had.

But rather than sinking into despair and depression, rather than throwing a pity party, David did something quite remarkable.

He did something our generation, which is routinely offended every day, desperately needs to learn. Whether it is a:

• Celebrity that tweeted something careless years ago
• A Christian leader who said something years prior in a sermon

Their reputation is maligned, the culmination of their work diminished to almost nothing, and they are forced to retire in utter disgrace while society devours them on social media.

This culture we live in today is volatile and retaliatory, but we don’t see David sparring with words or retaliating against Absalom in war.

Yes, we see David battling the human tendency toward self-pity, anger, and bitterness, the very emotions that fuel volatility and retaliation, but he wouldn’t give in to the temptation of the flesh.

After his first cry for help in verses one and two, he turns his focus upward and cries out:

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.

He declared the nature of God.

• God is a shield
• God is his reputation and source of his dignity (David knew where his identity should be)
• God is the reason he could hold his head high

He went on in verses seven and eight to say:

Arise, O Lord; Save me, O my God! For You have struck all my enemies on the cheekbone; You have broken the teeth of the ungodly. Salvation belongs to the Lord. Your blessing is upon Your people.

Rather than calling Absalom out publicly, he called out to God for salvation. He didn’t rely on his own wit and words to tear Absalom down to size; he saved his words for prayer.

Then he reminded his heart of what God had done in the past.

He went back to his storehouse of testimonies and began to counsel his heart about how God had done great things in the past, and He would come through again!

When we feel betrayed, rejected, disappointed, and disillusioned, our response is very important.

Will we retaliate, or will we be like David and pray and worship God, declaring His power to save?

Our response will mean the difference between

1. Responding in the flesh

This feeds our negative emotions of anger and bitterness, from which only grows more fruit of the flesh.

2. Responding in the spirit.

Here we will find the grace and strength to believe that God will be glorified in the end.

Dear sister, if you are struggling with the temptation to lash out after having been betrayed, I urge you turn to Psalm 3.

• Study it.
• Memorize it.
• Meditate on it.

And then make the choice to respond like David, and reach out for God’s grace and mercy, which are in abundant supply for you.

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